looking in

Can someone write something clever, honest and insightful without being tragic and lame about feeling:

• anxious over success or more specifically, a lack thereof
• drowning, suffocating, getting lost in disorganisation
• a rush to get to the future 
• inability to express all that one feels
• inability to show all that one see's
• tension in the head
• backflips in my stomach

I don't understand why some days adrenaline decides to pump a little harder through my veins (no not that good, ready to leap out of my skin adrenaline, the other one) and my brain whirs at a noticeably and dangerously higher speed.
It is also on these days that the world seems to moves in slow motion and I am able to make everything a melancholic movie moment...like birds flying through the sky for example. True story - I saw that only hours ago and wanted to cry. 

I hate these days!

Tomorrow the sun will come up and I can almost guarantee it will be all rainbows and lollipops but for now my fingers running over these keys release a little of whatever this is that's stirring. All at the risk of being eye-rolled and misinterpreted by strangers. Whatever. 

This too shall pass. Sleeeeeeppp. 

Photos: Click on image for Flickr details

Video: Rachel Kara (filmed the night before last, camera resting on my chest, laying in bed, lots of camera shake, poor framing but plenty of feeling).