just like a chocolate milkshake

Oh hey boys of Milano







Photos: Tommy Ton

My two hundred and twenty second post the day of my twenty second birthday.

be

If ever I decide I want to be a fashion photographer I want to be like Tim Walker. Or perhaps Alex Jennings for reminding me how much I love Walker...but more on Jennings later.














He captures such delicate beauty in what appear to be fleeting moments - even though we know they are far from spontaneous (I mean, unless it's common for giant humpty dumpty's to be found in deserted crops...I dunno?) - and seriously flaws me with his endless originality.
This guy has guts.

Today I have been encouraged - take risks, immerse yourself, write your own story. Obsessed is ok.

Photos: Tim Walker from "Private World", "Curiouser Curiouser", "Partick Wolfe", "So Dreamy", "Play of White"

revelation

Watching day come up and spread it's glory over one of my favourite Sydney streets on a Saturday. Delight.

I have put down magazines and picked up novels again. It came to my attention that my mind must be visually saturated as I was not soaking up anything I was seeing.

Do you read? What are you reading? Is it good? Tell me, tell me!

Jonathan Safran Foer has been on my to do list for sometime. A delightful Christmas gift prompted follow through.

Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer. 2002.

"The boys, young men, men and elderly of the shtetl would sit vigil outside her window at all hours of the day and night asking if they could assist her with her studies, or in the garden, or if perhaps Brod would like to go for a stroll to the river.

She never said no and never said yes but pulled, slackened, pulled her strings of control.

She maintained a careful balance by her window never allowing the men to come too close, never allowing them to stray too far. She needed them desperately, not only for the favors, not only for the things they could get for Yankel and her that Yankel couldn't afford but because they were a few more fingers to plug the dike that held back what she knew to be true..."

Photos: Rachel Kara

new dawn, new day

....and we have some serotonin back in the building :)

Photos: Elle Macpherson by Mario Testino, Fred Astaire in Singing in The Rain, Thomas Van der Zaag, uknown, Rahkela by Rachel Kara, Gene Tierney in Leave Her to Heaven, Thomas Van der Zaag

ripe

2011 is now five days old (or young, depending on whether or not you drink from the cup that's half full). I am sleeping more, perhaps so I can dream more, and am quite comfortable in the numbness these (passing) lulls of mine bring.

I bought a journal. This o-check design journal infact.



I thought if it was pretty I'd be more likely to use it but have quickly come to realise - or maybe just admit - that I am straight up awkward when it come to pen, paper and private thoughts. Heck, I think I've shared more of my inner self with this damm blogspot (which is potentially accessible to [according to www.internetworldstats.com] almost 2 BILLION people) than I ever have with any form of handwriting tools.



So I'm sorry journal but here's my entry for today. Don't be jealous.


2011 started with no big bang.

Midnight hit. All I wanted was to curl in to a ball and have my non-existant lover stroke my hair as we fell sweetly and silently asleep by each others side.



Reality was, there were enough faces in and around my home to scare my sometimes painfully and naturally introverted self. It was confronting. My insides were squirming. I had chosen to invite them here?

...but I do come from a family of performers and like they say

"the show must go on!"

so as the clock struck 12 I hoo-ed and ha-ed with the crowd whilst my mind wandered far from home.

I wanted to wake up from a beautiful rest with the fire in my gut reignited by the potential opportunity, mystery, adventure and discoveries the turn of a calendar year can bring.
Direction, certainty and at least a faint sense of security as welcomed accompaniments.



What felt like an eternity later the party was dying down as the sun was coming up and a couple of things came crashing down upon on me:
1. An honest look at what was/is my greatest desire (so here's where I draw the line on what 2 billion can know about me!) and,
2. For the 6 months or so that I have just passed I have been more or less trying to 'extrovert' myself.
It is only just occurring to me how tiring and laboursome it has been but I have done what I needed to do.

I woke from a short and unsatisfying sleep stepped into the shower and as the water fell I had word that that season is over. "You can be you" over and over. "You can be you". I liked it and felt a little calmer, a little more comfortable in my skin.

I don't have a resoltuion or plan for the year as yet so I will leave this post with all it's ugly ends hanging loose for now.

Photos: , Rachel Kara

Disclaimer: I get my tenses mixed up a lot and make up my own grammar and punctuation therefore I'm sure my writing is a bitch to read, but this isn't about you. This is now also officially my private journal.
You can still enjoy my photos?